Healthy Vegan Gluten-Free POWER BARS (easy pre or post workout snacks)

(upbeat music)
♫ Body break get movin’
♫ Body break keep movin’
♫ Oh yeah
♫ Body break
♫ Body break
♫ Stump Kitchen
♫ Stump Kitchen
♫ Gluten free, vegan eats
♫ and stumptastic treats
(both) ♫ Body break
– Hi, I’m Pal Johnson.
– And I’m Joanne McStump.
– We’re happy to have you
her with this extra special
body break Halloween edition.
– Happy (bleep)ing Halloween.
– Happy Halloween.
– We’re gonna make you some protein-filled
vegan, gluten free power bars.
– Power.
– To keep you pumped and strong.
Pumped and stumped!
Throughout the whole
Halloween holiday season.
Just casual lifting.
So the first thing we gotta
do is grab a food processor.
– Track your heels, good.
Good, good, use that core.
– A cup and a half of
gluten free oat flour.
Now I just want you to
note the control here
in the upper arm down to the bottom part.
So we’re gonna use three dried apricots
and three dates in here.
Yeah, get it, yeah.
Yeah, nice.
A quarter of a cup of cocoa powder.
– Oh shit, I’m getting stuff everywhere.
I’m sorry.
– You know how we like it, how messy.
A quarter cup of brown rice syrup.
Just stick your stump
in there and get it out.
Use that stump muscle.
Ooh, that sticky sound.
That sound.
Put the top on.
(both) Blend it up, blend it up,
blend it, blend it, blend it up.
Get a pan.
This pan is too big
because I don’t have any other clean ones.
But we’re gonna just make it work.
(both) ♫ Makin’ it work
♫ (Mumbling)
– Really make sure your
back’s nice and strong.
– Engage through the shoulder girdle.
Ba! Ba! Ba!
Because this pan is twice
the size that we need,
we’re gonna only smush
it down on one half.
We forgot the parchment paper.
One sec.
We like to recycle in
our family household.
This was cookies before.
This side was fresh for power bars.
Take two.
Again, upper arm muscle.
Lower arm muscle, engage.
– Make sure you use your core.
– Getting used to each
other’s gas and sounds,
really important for any
healthy relationship.
My first thing we need
for the second layer
is the flax egg!
– The flax egg.
– Yeah!
A tablespoon of ground flax.
And you put in three tablespoons of water
and you put it in the
fridge for a few minutes.
Into the fridge.
– Tricep fives!
– Tricep fives.
Okay, we’re gonna put all
the wet things in here.
Half a cup of coconut
milk, plus two tablespoons.
– One half cup plus to tbsps.
No, tablespoons, tbsps.
♫ Half a cup of peanut butter
– Stumps, like you know, are good
for getting (bleep) out of things.
Half, or one quarter cup of agave syrup.
– You know, you gotta have
balance on both sides.
So however long you go one way,
you make sure you go the other way, right?
– Half a cup of oats!
– Half a cup of oats!
I measured it out myself.
– You did, yes that’s right!
You helped.
– Alright, I helped.
– Always kiss the upper arm
muscle slash bicep, always.
This is half a cup of hemp protein powder.
You can use any protein powder you want.
We wanted to go right down to the basics.
No added sugar, no fancy stuff,
just like boom, hemp.
– Nothing fancy here.
– Nothing fancy here.
– One, two, three, (grunts)
– Yeah.
Wow, that’s a lot of protein powder.
Quarter tisp os salt.
A tablespoon and a half of chia seeds.
– ♫ Ch-ch-ch-chia!
– Kiss that bicep, yeah.
Tablespoon and a half of hemp.
– This is really important
stuff right here.
So I’m really gonna make sure–
– Double fisting.
– That I’m double fisting this one.
Oh yeah.
– A cup of oat flour.
– Always thank your body for
the hard work that it puts in.
– Grab a bowl, hug it close to you,
– squatting, little squatting.
– Use those triceps.
– Let me get your hair out of the way.
– Thanks, Pal (laughs).
– Gonna do some calf
raises while I do this.
Might as well.
It’s really important not to let
those heels touch the ground.
You wanna get a nice little
hover going on there.
– Keep those legs engaged.
And you want the color of poop!
It’s perfect.
– It’s perfect.
– It’s perfect.
(record scratching)
We forgot our flax egg.
Let’s get it!
Oh yeah, look how gelatinous it got.
– You gotta, always good
to spot your partner.
Especially when you’re trying
something new at the gym.
You really want to make sure you got
somebody there to support you.
Sharing is caring.
– Swapping bowls
and swapping roles (laughs).
– That’s right!
– Alright, here’s our base from before.
We’re gonna put it on here and
smash it down with our limbs.
– Yeah, get it in here.
Get that whole forearm in there.
– Nice firm base.
I’ll smooth out my ‘stache,
smooth out the top.
Yeah, thanks, give me a hand.
Look, people, look what we did.
Isn’t it beautiful?
It’s flat.
It’s smooth.
Now we’re gonna put it in the cold box,
the fridge to get solid up.
Firm up, and you know what?
We’re gonna put it in the freezer
because we don’t have time.
(burps) Pardon me.
(clock ticking)
While this was chilling out,
we whipped up a beautiful topping.
– Chocolate chips.
And a little bit of coconut oil.
– Yep, just microwaved and stirred.
Yes, look at that technique, folks.
– Biceps.
I can’t reach them over my shoulder pads.
– Oh, the 80s, what have you done to us?
– Instagram your food.
– For a final touch, add some hemp hearts.
Really work those finger muscles.
‘Kay let’s go in!
Let’s get it cut!
For you.
Oh (bleep) yeah.
– These are great.
– Mmm, Halloween.
I think I can go all day.
All day.
– ♫ All night long
– Make sure you eat this.
Make sure you make it.
Give it to your friends.
Eat it before a workout.
Eat it after a workout.
Eat it in the bathtub.
– Eat it in all the ways in all your days.
What are the macros?
What are the, who (bleep)in’ cares?
– Eat what you want.
– If it tastes good, you should eat it.
– Put it in your mouth.
This was the (bleep)in’ best.
– Yeah this was great.
– Thank you so much for being on the show.
If you don’t know, Kyle does QueerFlex
and I work out with them
and it’s just the best.
This is not a thing I ever had before.
So definitely check out QueerFlex.
Support them on Patreon!
QueerFlex is also on Patreon!
Stump Kitchen’s on Patreon too!
– Oh!
– If you haven’t already
subscribed to Stump Kitchen,
definitely hit the
subscribe button down below.
Thanks for being here and Happy Halloween.
– Happy Halloween!
– We’ll see you next
time on Stump Kitchen.
♫ Stump Kitchen
♫ Stump Kitchen
♫ Gluten free vegan eats
♫ It’s stumptastic treats
♫ – Spatula
♫ We really love our spatula!

William Babineau

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