– This puppy came for the milk taste test! (kissing sounds) I’ve had many types of milk,
but I’ve never had dog’s milk. – I would never drink a glass of milk. – Oh, I would. – I drink milk every day. – Do you like milk? – Um, it’s sort of, milk
kind of freaks me out. I drink a lot of soy milk. – Do you get farty? (girl laughs) – It’ll be good to find out if I’m lactose intolerant (laughs). – It smells like a barn. – This one’s heavier. (coughs in disgust) – Creamy, damn!
– Yeah. – Oh my god, I hate it. – Something really depressed
produced this milk. – I do think goats are also weirdly the children and spawn of Satan. – It’s got that bitterness
to it that goat cheese has. – Have you seen a goat eye up close? Their pupils are rectangular. – I can’t do it again,
I can’t drink anymore. – This is goat’s milk, and it’s very good. – I just never wanted to lick a goat. – It almost smells like cookie dough. – Oh, that smells kind of sweet. – Yeah, fruity. Did you milk the teats of a fruit bat? – It’s so sweet. – Ooh! – It tastes like a melted soft serve that’s been diluted, twice. – What about this is milk? – It’s white. – Full of water, cane
sugar, vanilla extract, that gives it the vanilla taste. – Oh, they faked it. – Flax seed milk, I like it. – Delicious. – Mm hmm. – I’d drink more. – I don’t like this smell. – Oh this smells like another animal milk. – Smells cheesy. – Yeah. (grunts in disgust) – I got at a chunk, immediately. – Ugh!
– Didn’t like it. – Nope. – I mean, it doesn’t bad, but you saying that you had a chunk, – Right.
– Means I’m done. – This tastes like liquid mac and cheese. – There’s a certain
distant staleness to it. – I didn’t know sheep could milk. I mean, it makes sense,
they have babies, but like– – I don’t think I like milk! I came into this test loving milk, you hated milk, and now
I hate milk (laughs). Our final milk. – It looks almost like, like white paint. – I don’t have any floaters. – This one smells heavy. – What is this? – Not for me. – No. – It tastes like a corn husk. – It tastes like grass. – It tastes like grass!
– Grassy! – There’s a millisecond
for which it is okay. Then, there’s some horrible wood-ish taste.
– Yeah. – It’s weird, it has a texture to it. – There’s no way this
will get you high, right? – It’s a “no” for the hemp milk. – First, I’m amazed at our ability to make milk out of anything. – When we were kids, we only had one milk. – Yeah.
– Came from the cow. – My question is, how competitive is the fake milk industry? – I don’t know, I guess, I’ll stick to soy milk. (girl laughs)
– There seems to be a lot of different companies. Are they neck and neck? Who’s on top? – This is the milk you drink–
– Yeah. – After a hard day’s work. Come home, you stand over your fireplace, you swirl the milk in a tumbler, you regret your life decisions, why you married Barbara so young, – And you drink this milk.
– And you drink this milk.