Your Healthy Friend Who Still Does Drugs

(bright music) – Yeah, it’s all American. – I’m glad that we all went
to three different places. – Hey, guys. – Hey, wow, that looks healthy. – Yeah, it’s kale,
quinoa, and black beans. It’s full of calcium, protein, and fiber for bone tissue and digestive health. – That sounds great, but you should have some of these for dessert. – Ew, honestly I wouldn’t put anything that you guys are eating into my body. I like to make my lunches include only plant based foods that
are rich in amino acids that boost my immune system. – Well, your immune system
is sort of a comp… Are you making a cocktail right now? – Yeah, if I crave something that tastes sweet, I have fruit. – Hold on, you’re bragging
about being healthy while you’re making two alcoholic drinks? – Yeah, it has blueberries in it that I handpicked at my
local community garden that I volunteer at on
the weekends. (slurps) – Vodka is bad for your liver and has a lot of calories in it. – Blueberries are a super food. They’re full of antioxidants
that keep my bones healthy and they protect me from free radicals. I drink a ton of water, it is so essential for skin and kidney health. – Water is healthy, not water
with fifteen Xanaxes in it. (foreboding music)
– Yum. (spraying) – Here, I wanna see that.
– (sighs) – Yep, just processed sugar. If you wanna do something healthy, come to the yoga class I’m teaching
at 6 AM tomorrow, okay? (spraying) – This is ridiculous, you
can’t be so self righteous about food when you’re
sucking fucking nitrous out of a god damn whipped cream tank. (uneasy music)
– Sorry I’m not a square like you guys. There is nothing better
than treating your mind, body, and soul to some physical
exercise and meditation. (inhales deeply) – Well I think all the drugs you’re taking outweigh all of that. – Zack, these are just fun
and they expand my mind which is so important for mental health. By the way, Zack, that
burger you’re eating can lead to colon cancer. – No, you’re judging what we eat while you’re about to do a
huge mountain of cocaine. I mean, it’s so hypocritical. Is that my credit card? – Ugh, here.
(clatters) – Ugh. (inhales deeply, sighs) – Trust me, I’m a total health junkie. – Ugh! How can you preach about health when you’re about to load
your veins with heroin? – It’s not a big deal, Zack.
(flicking) (snapping)
(tapping) – Oh, that is good tar. This is why obesity is such a problem. People just don’t care
enough about their bodies. (inhales deeply, sighs) – I’m gonna go for a jog. (slams) – I can’t with her anymore. It is too much preaching. – So high and mighty. (dramatic music) – Katie, Katie. – Welcome to the writer meeting. Let’s hear some sketch pitches. (slams)
– I think she’s dead! (screams)
– Ugh, what a hypocrite. (playful music) – Hi, it’s Katie Marovitch
from CollegeHumor. If you wanna subscribe, click over here and for more fun stuff, click over here. And if you want access to
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Social Security number, your credit card information,
and your mother’s maiden name in a private message to me.

William Babineau


  1. I can totally relate to how hilarious this is because this is how all my friends and lovers passed away.

  2. People who love the environment and are healthy junkies yet smoke cigarettes. What a hypocrite.

  3. Grant, tell me what you were about to say about the immune system! FINISH YOUR SENTENCE!!!

  4. I have a couple of friends like this, legit all healthy and working out but on weekends nothing but coke and alcohol

  5. Its funny how katie can make herself look like a complete drug addict so easily

  6. I like how there is a table full of drugs and in the background there is a can of wippedcrwam

  7. That's me😂 I eat healthy and clean most of the time but also drink vodka like water

  8. To be fair someone who does a ton of drugs and eats healthy will probably live longer than someone who eats horribly and does know drugs. Not by that much though

  9. Vodka doesn't have a lot of calories it only has like 90 calories per drink.

  10. I used to have a friend like that… Not my friend anymore, what a surprise!

  11. What is her PM… I have all those things, except my mother's maiden name because she got knocked up by a trucker in a gas station stall.

  12. To be honest over eating and having bad eating habits are worse for you then certain drugs in moderation.

  13. Chloroform is colourless and stored in brown bottles,not the other way around

  14. Oh ok just pull out the drug that legit gave me nightmares

    im fine

  15. "Vodka has a lot of calories" lol guess again. Limeys are so stupid. Vodka has. 64 calories 0 carbs 0 fat.

  16. worst of all she doesn't share with her friends ! selfish bitch, they could snort that coke too…..

  17. I still haven't been given access to the secret site. Should I send my G-mail password too?

  18. Honestly I kinda am her. I eat mainly vegetables but I do drink a tad too much. I don't do the rest she does. Dam

  19. I love how they just sat there and watched her get worse and worse without intervening haha. 😂😂🤣🤣😭😭

  20. Katie uses a Crystal Head shaker so I guess at least she drinks pretty good vodka

  21. this is what happens to our future doctors and scientist when they get addicted to drugs look at what these drug dealers are doing they are ruining peoples lives

  22. This reminds me of that friend who is a hypocrite on everything but completely complains about us saying he/she is a hypocrite

  23. I get those a lot, often women: yeah I make my own perfume because industrial one's are full of chemicals… and smokes a pack a day.

  24. Addicts don’t eat like this. I assure you, most addicts are eating fast food and starburst like the rest of us. I get the joke they’re trying to make, but it’s only funny if it’s true. The kind of person they’re talking about is the kind of person who is judgmental and pretentious when it comes to refined sugars and gluten and shit. They really have no idea what they’re talking about. They’re also the same people who scoff and judge people who do so much as smoke a cigarette. I’m just really not seeing the connection here between addicts and food assholes.

  25. I just saw the video about tide pods, and now this? I think they're killing themselfs for real.

  26. what drug is she doing at 1:29 when she pours something into the bag and inhales it

  27. Everyone: everyone: she didn’t eat the blue berries me: she didn’t eat the salad

    Me: is the most meta one here

  28. She couldn't died from OD or slamming the absolute shit out of the table using her face like a hammer

  29. Yep. Ironically my “healthiest” friend is also the one who does every drug on earth.

  30. Me, when I was a raw-foodist vegan/heroin aficionado. Though I was really fit and could run 100 miles, since I couldn't really feel pain. I fractured my leg after dodging a driver who saw red lights as more of a suggestion and added dairy back into my diet.

    Though funny, chloroform takes about 5 minutes to make you pass out.

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